We had a “Thought for the Day” Friday that has stuck with me.
If you don’t know, I do a podcast with my son, Matt, every Friday. We’re live on YouTube at 8 a.m. and “you can also catch us wherever you go for your favorite podcasts.”
One of the weekly features is a Thought for the Day at the end. This week’s thought was:
Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy.
Ralph Harston
I’ve been thinking about that quote for a few days and totally agree with it… BUT… I also know it won’t be easy.
First of all, do you know someone who never seems to be happy? They could have the best of everything: a wonderful home, terrific spouse, great kids and a good job but they always find a reason to be unhappy. True, we don’t know if it really is a wonderful home, if their spouse is terrific, if the kids aren’t wild or the job is a hassle but I’m just saying they always find a way to be unhappy.
Can we really choose to be happy? Is it really that simple? As I said, I don’t think it will always be easy but let’s look at this.
As I’ve gotten older I have hopefully gotten a little wiser (Or at least more experienced). I now realize that when something happens to you, you have a choice: Will I let this ruin my day or will I learn from it and carry on in my happy state? Honestly I don’t think you can always stay in your happy state. We sometimes are slapped by reality especially if there’s an accident or emergency or the loss of a loved one. However, in our day-to-day interactions I do think we can choose to be happy.
Let’s look at an example:
Your morning at work is going smoothly but the boss or a co-worker decides to chew you out over something. You can let it ruin your day or realize that whatever has made them this angry is something going on in THEIR life and has nothing to do with you. You were just the nearest target. Don’t let it bum you out. Listen, let them vent, then when they leave you can go back to what you were doing and have a pretty decent day. Now I’m not going to pretend that I always acted that way. There was a time when I would spend the next hour or two wondering, “How dare they? I didn’t deserve that! Great! I was having a nice day and they ruined it!” I now realize that I allowed them to.
What was it Eleanor Roosevelt once said?
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
An idea came to me this morning, in the shower (where most of my ideas come to me). When something happens in your day that might change your mood from happy to sad… why not play the “what about…” game?
The “What about” game is played on most of the “Talking head” news shows or you might have people in your life play this game with you if you discuss politics. You mention something that a candidate or a party has done that you think is questionable and instead of commenting on that specific issue they say, “Yeah but what about your candidate? He/she did this!” They don’t say anything about the issue you brought up, whether it was good, bad, or stupid they immediately deflect. Why don’t we try that with negativity?
When something negative happens, why not deflect? Focus on something you were happy about just two minutes ago.
“Yeah but what about this beautiful day?”
“Yeah but what about that laugh my grandchild has”
“Yeah but what about that dessert I had last night?”
“Yeah but what these shoes? Aren’t they great?”
When someone deflects during a political rant, aren’t they just choosing to focus on something else instead of what you said? Why can’t we deflect from the bad news or negative energy by focusing on something positive?
No I’m not trying to get into any political arguments here and I won’t get into any. I’m just using this as an example to show how you might be able to make happiness a choice. Can you choose to be happy everyday no matter what happens? No I don’t think so. Unfortunately we all face situations that will challenge us. I just think that far too many times, myself included, we allow the outside world to influence us and affect us when, in many cases, we have a choice.
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