Finding Your Purpose…Again!

I filled in for our minister again recently. She was on vacation and I guess I did ok when I filled in back in March because I was asked back. In fact, I remember after I preached in March a friend in the congregation walked up to me afterward and said, “Well now you’ve done it.” He felt that now that I had filled in once and proved that I could do it they were going to keep asking.

My latest sermon was entitled, “Finding Your Purpose…Again!”

I began with a story about how I met a friend recently and she said, “So Pete? How are you doing?” And instead of saying the usual, “Fine!,” I paused and actually said what I was thinking. I said, “To be honest, I’m actually kind of confused right now. I can’t figure out what I’m supposed to do. I’m not sure what my purpose is. What am I here for?” Have you ever wrestled with this?

Now it’s not like I’ve been searching 60 years to find a purpose. Like many of us, I feel I’ve had a dozen or so purposes. Life changes and you find another role. I’m just kind of in-between purposes right now I guess.

In my own life

I was on morning radio for about 35 years. And for all those years I knew what my purpose was. To wake you up even on those days when you didn’t want to wake up.

Then, starting with my daughter Sarah’s birth in 1989 and then continuing through the other three, I was “dad” or “coach” so I knew what my role was.

However, then I got let go from my job because of corporate downsizing. And then the kids all grew up. I was no longer the wake up guy and I was no longer dad. Of course I’m still “dad” but they are all on their own now with their own lives. Sometimes they call and ask for my opinion, which is nice but I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re doing that just to humor me.

Then while I was starting out a new job and trying a different avenue I had that little stroke thing a few years ago and that changed everything. 

“Dad! You’re retired!”

My children keep telling me to enjoy my retirement. They say I earned it with all those years of getting up at 4 in the morning, but I struggle with being retired. Mainly because it wasn’t my idea. It wasn’t my choice. My body decided.

I’ve noticed more and more how we put so much emphasis on what we DO. It’s almost like we put more emphasis on what we DO than who we ARE. 

So what is my purpose?

A couple of years ago I took care of my grandson, Liam, in Virginia Beach after he was born. That’s where I spent Covid. I was there a lot longer than we expected because of the Covid restrictions. Then he was ready for preschool so that chapter ended. I came home, and my son Matt suggested we start a podcast and that was fun. We did it for two years but that chapter ended recently so I’m kind of searching now. 

What’s next?

I think there are many times in our lives when we wonder, “What’s next?”

We lose a job? What’s next?

We find out that the job we thought we always wanted is not what we thought it would be. What’s next?

We graduate from high school and suddenly, what was our routine for the past twelve years, changes. What’s next?

We graduate from college and now get thrust into the real world. What’s next?

The children grow up and start their own adventures and suddenly the nest is empty. What’s next?

You retire and suddenly that routine you had, for a lot more than just 12 years probably, is totally changed around. What next?

And, God forbid, your partner dies. What’s next?

I think some of us struggle with this. 

It can be hard and for those of us with a disability …that’s a whole ‘nother pill to swallow. There is so much we want to do… but we can’t anymore. The mind is willing but the flesh is weak. And sometimes…the mind is chomping at the bit but the body says “Nope! Not anymore!”

So what do we do? Pull the shades and watch old movies all day? I suppose I could.

On the other hand, why not take some time and realize what you CAN do?

One thing you can do is LISTEN

One thing we CAN do when searching for an answer or a purpose or a calling, is just to calm down and listen for God’s voice. Am I going to wake up to a text tomorrow with all the answers? That would be nice but probably not.

Do we actually get answers from God? I think we do. For me it sometimes happens if I’m out for a walk or sitting on the beach. I always thought that some of my best ideas came in the shower. Were they my ideas or a message from some higher source? I believe that that’s when God speaks to us, in those quiet moments when we’re not distracted.

There is so much noise nowadays and I don’t mean just motorcycles going by your house or construction in the neighborhood that seems to show up before 7 in the morning.

Calls, texts, telemarketing, emails, notifications. Reminders to go here, there.

Turn down the noise

The main thing I think is to turn down the noise. Maybe He is speaking to you but we get so busy on our phones or tablets or stuck in meetings or trying to figure out the darn self checkout lines that we can’t hear it.

And I will be the first to admit…I sometimes stress about this. So what does the Bible say about stress and worry?

Philippians 4:6-7

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ”

Matthew 6:25-34

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 

Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

God hears us BUT….

I believe God hears our every prayer and probably knows what we need before we even realize we need it. I’ve also learned over the years that God answers every prayer …. HOWEVER….. and it took me a long time to learn this… He may not always give you the answer you were looking for. It may be a different idea. A different way of doing things. Or maybe we aren’t ready for the answer yet. We still have things to learn.

Have you found your purpose?

Tony Robbins writes:

Research shows that finding your purpose is linked to living longer. Researchers surveyed nearly 7,000 older adults on the relationship between mortality and finding your purpose. Participants who did not have a strong sense of meaning in their lives were more than twice as likely to die prematurely as those who had figured out their purpose in life. 

He also writes:

Everything you need is within yourself. The only thing holding you back is your own limiting beliefs. With each limiting belief you identify and replace with an empowering belief, you develop greater self-awareness. 

I think that point is crucial when re-evaluating your purpose. For years I’ve read the advice to eliminate “can’t” from your vocabulary. When I coached baseball and softball I would ban that word at practice. I would tell the kids, “Don’t tell me you CAN’T bunt. You just haven’t learned how yet.”

I’m not going to say I’ve always lived by this creed in my own life but, especially since my disability, I try to look at things and say, “Well I can’t go skiing with you but I can help you pack and be here with a hearty meal when you get back.” 

What’s always on your mind?

Also, pay attention to what is constantly on your mind? You wake up with this thought in your head and it keeps coming up all throughout the day. Could that be God talking to you?

I’ll always remember walking along the beach with my wife Priscilla once. The children were young and Priscilla had been a stay at home mom for a few years. She was a travel agent after we first got married and she did that until we had our second child and then life just got way too busy with two, then three, then four. But once the kids were all in school she started thinking about getting back into the workforce. So that day we were walking along the beach and she said, “I just can’t stop thinking about being a paramedic. I think I’d be really good at that.” I’m not saying I always know the right thing to say but that day I said, “Hello? Ever think that might be someone sending you a message?” She agreed, explored it, and, inserting a cliche here, “The rest is history.”

Tony Robbins goes on to say:

Look back on your life and identify the times when you felt the most joy. When you discover what brings you joy, you usually discover where your passions lie.

He also advises that we be flexible.

Your purpose in life is also likely to grow and change as you grow and change. You must be willing to be flexible and to listen to your innermost wants and needs.

Or I would add here…listen for the voice of God. But remember, you need a quiet time and place. Put down the phone. Or listen to a trusted friend without putting everything through a filter. Listen and actually hear what’s being said instead of automatically saying, “No I can’t do that.”

Patience

And realize that not everything is going to come to you right away. Patience. Prayer. Listening. It can be done. We can find our purpose…again.

One more Bible verse…Psalm 56:3

“When I am afraid,” (and I might add “When I’m anxious or confused”). “When I am afraid I put my trust in you.”

Listen for that still, small voice. You might be amazed at what he has to say.

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