It just hit me out of the blue this week: I miss my boys. I still miss them.
As some of you may know, we lost our Beagle and Golden Retriever not too long ago. The whole family went through the grieving process in our own way but I’ve since found out, we’re pretty much all still missing them.
We have a new puppy now, Charlie, who we got almost three months ago. He is a joy and we love him very much. It’s been twelve years since we’ve had a puppy in this house and we forgot how much energy they have every day. We go for walks and my wife, Priscilla, and my son, Matt, play with him every day. I think I told you that we got Charlie because Priscilla was really missing Baxter, our Golden. She absolutely hated coming home to an empty house.
This week it hit me. I was going to the cabinet to get the peanut butter to make a sandwich when I paused — I had a flashback to when I used to get the peanut butter and a Ritz cracker every night for medicine time. Both Baxter and our Beagle, Oscar, were on medication the last few years of their lives so reaching for that peanut butter was an every day thing. Twice a day actually. I didn’t cry when this happened this week but I did pause and realize how much I miss them.
I’ve since found out that I’m not the only one. Priscilla has told me it strikes her at random times and she said the silliest thing can remind her of the boys. She only has to empty the Roomba once a week now because Charlie doesn’t shed and there are no tumble weeds from the Golden Retriever. My daughter, Kat, told us that on her last drive to Virginia Beach she remembered a time when we brought Oscar and Baxter along for the ride. Baxter really had to go when we got to a certain rest stop and she got a little teary-eyed when she passed that place.
Now I don’t want you to think that I don’t love our puppy Charlie.
He is great in his own way but the boys just had a big impact on us. So many memories over those twelve years. Charlie is just getting started creating his own story.
“Unconditional love”
I read something recently that asked why we put ourselves through this over and over. We know it’s going to break our heart when we lose them. I don’t remember it word-for-word but the basic point was:
“We do this because of the 10- plus years of unconditional love they give us. And when they’re gone we swear we’ll never put ourselves through that again…. but then we do. Why? Because of the unconditional love……”
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