How Do You Know?

I find myself wondering, “How do you know when the timing is right?”

“Have I waited long enough?”

“Am I ready?”

“How do you know when you’re ready to get a new dog?”

Our Beagle, Oscar, died last May. His buddy, and our awesome friend Baxter the Golden Retriever, crossed the Rainbow Bridge near the end of January. It’s only been about eight weeks but the house seems like it’s been empty forever.

Not the first time

This is not the first time we’ve lost a dog; we’ve had two others that we had to put down and it never gets easier. And I think each time I’ve said,”Never again! I can’t put myself through this!” Then we start thinking about it and talking about it. One thing leads to another and soon we’re puppy training again.

Each time I’ve brought the subject up with my wife lately she says, “I’m not ready yet. I just can’t.” She was walking on the beach the other day when a Golden Retriever came up to her to say hello. Was that a sign?

They were close

She told me she still has a rough day every now and then. They were close. They walked every day no matter how cold it was. Baxter was not a fan of rainy days and he never could understand why some days were just too hot.

I haven’t really had a bad day. Yet. I say that because I haven’t been home yet. I’m still in Virginia Beach but I will be headed home for a few days next week. Priscilla says that’s when it hits you: When you don’t see his face in the window as you walk up the path.

I do get sad when I think that Baxter is not with us anymore. I spoke often about how he and Oscar were my rehab buddies. After my stroke there were many lonely hours where I just had the boys. I don’t mean humans were not there for me but they had jobs or school. There were many days when it was just us. They were good nurses and made sure I did my physical therapy.

How do you know?

Let’s see what the experts say.

Jenna Stregowski, a Veterinarian Technician, wrote a blog in 2019 for the spruce pets:

“There is no way to say for certain when the time is right. This is a very individual decision that often happens organically. Some people only wait days to weeks, possibly because they cannot bear to go long without a canine companion. Others need several months to years before they are ready to bring a new dog into their lives. Some people even decide they no longer wish to have dogs.”

She does offer some guidelines:

-Grieve for your dog. Take the time you need.
-Consider your responsibilities. Are you ready to train a young dog?
-Once you feel that the time is right, you can begin the process of choosing the right dog. Avoid running out and bringing home the first dog you come across.

One of the best lines I read was from Moira Anderson Allen, Master of Education.

“The time to obtain a new pet is when you have worked through your grief sufficiently to be confident that you can look forward to new relationships, rather than backward at your loss. For some people, that might be a matter of days or weeks; for others, it might be months or years.”

We’re “dog people”

I don’t think there’s any doubt that we will get another dog. We’re “dog people.” I’d like another Golden but Priscilla reminds me that it would be nice to have a dog I could walk. Baxter was a little too strong for me. Priscilla wants a good traveling partner for the trips to Virginia. It got a little tough lifting Baxter into the truck when his arthritis was bad.

I guess it will happen when it happens. I’ll let you know. I remember them all. They all have had different personalities and I do look forward to getting to know another.

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