The Braley Blog

“Pete’s Daily Connection”

Thoughts On End Of Life

If you saw my post earlier this week, you know I wrote about how we had to put down our beloved golden retriever, Baxter. Baxter was 12, old for a Golden, when we had to say goodbye this week. The staff at Capeway Veterinary Hospital was fantastic as they gave my family the time to say goodbye.

Now to be honest, we didn’t have to say goodbye to Baxter. We could have prolonged his life for a little while longer but we had discussed how we didn’t want to put him through that. He had a cancerous mass in his stomach and he had stopped eating and really couldn’t walk anymore. That’s not Baxter. That’s not how he would have wanted to live.

Why can’t we do the same….

There have been many articles written about making that difficult decision about end of life. And I also discovered this week that there are blogs and articles that say…. If we can make the end of life decision for our pets, why can’t we do the same for our loved ones?

For some of us, we have seen a loved one suffer at the end of life. If you’re like me, you’ve wondered if that’s the way they would want to spend their last few days on earth.

I did some reading on the subject and found an excellent piece by Jessica Pearce for “Psychology Today.” While writing about euthanasia for our pets she discovered people saying, “I just wish we could be so compassionate with people.”

Survey says…

She notes:  A recent survey of U.S. physicians found that 69 percent object to physician-assisted suicide. The primary arguments given are: pain medication has gotten so good that there is no reason for a patient to be in such pain that they would want to die; physicians might incorrectly diagnose a terminal illness; and it violates the role of the physician as healer.

Again I ask, would he/ she want to live that way?

By the way

Oh and if you or a loved one has a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate form) filled out, make sure it’s in a place where emergency personnel can find it. Just you telling a paramedic that your loved one has one is not enough. They need to SEE it. “My brother has it.” Not good enough. They need to SEE it. My wife, the paramedic, tells me sad stories where they aren’t given a copy so they have to work the patient. Her advice? Make copies and put it EVERYWHERE. At least put it on the refrigerator. That’s the first place they look.

Back to dogs

Earlier this year, a woman named Jessi Dietrich from Tennessee tweeted about the time she spoke with her vet and asked him what he found most difficult about his job. He said when he has to put an animal down,” she wrote. She said, “90 per cent of owners don’t actually want to be in the room when he injects them so the animal’s last moments are usually them frantically looking around for their owners.”

Then there was a Facebook post from a tired Veterinarian by Hillcrest Veterinary Hospital in South Africa.


Thoughts on end of life

I wasn’t there this week when Baxter passed but I have been there for one of our other dogs. It was tough. It sucked. But I held her paw until she was gone.

Priscilla and I have talked and cried this week. It’s so damn hard. I don’t know why we do this to ourselves. Well actually I do, we love our furry friends and what they bring to our lives. It’s too soon to think about another. Right now it hurts too much. The house is too quiet.

But we’ll see.

8 responses to “Thoughts On End Of Life”

  1. Denise Avatar
    Denise

    When I had to put my 16 year old black lab Tugger down. I had to take him to a shelter in Fall River and I was not allowed to be with him.. It broke my heart. Then my son knew a set of twins that worked for a vet and they told him that if I brought the dog to them that they would take care if him and bring me his remains, which I received the next day. It still was extremely hard.
    Then about 3 years later I had to put my sons dog down and a shelter around and again I was not allowed to be with him. It was hard because the dog was the last thing I had of my son’s. If I coukd have remained with both if them I’d have stayed close to them… 😭💔

  2. Susan Avatar
    Susan

    This hit home in so many ways. There was one dog that we were not with when he passed due to circumstances. I have always regretted that. That vets article brought my to my knees. We love out let’s like family . Condolences to your whole family.

    1. Sue Avatar
      Sue

      Our pets are like family I mean

    2. Patricia+L.+Jason Avatar

      Pete, Pricilla and the entire family=condolences from one broken hearted family to another. It is a tough thing to recover from but you will do it.

  3. Yvette+Gracie Avatar
    Yvette+Gracie

    I am sitting here crying my eyes out reading Baxter’s story. I know what a wonderful dog he was and how much he was loved. We have had a lot of pets, cats mostly and we have been blessed to only have make the decision only twice. Most of our cats lived into their 20’s and at the end of life, they were comfortable enough to let it happen in it due time at home with us and in their favorite spots. We always gave our pets the best Vet care we could and took care of them to the end. Except for those 2 cats, they all passed peacefully at home. With the help and guidance of our Vet they were made comfortable and we had decided that if they were not, we would take the next step. My point is, the 2 doctors you quoted in your article are so correct about the fear your pet faces when you are not there. We were blessed to have a very caring vet who both times made accommodations for us to bring our babies in before office hours so the normal hustle and bustle wouldn’t agitate them. Zorro wouldn’t let go of my husband who had been cuddling him in the car while we waited to go in. So, he would not be traumatized by having to pull him off my husband, they gave him a sedative that calmed he very quickly. They put him on a heated blanket so he would not feel the cold table below him. They attached the IV, made room for both of us to get close enough to being touching him and in a few so seconds, he was gone. There was no look of terror or fear because we were there and they had taken the trauma out of situation. With Frisbie, she developed cancer at the same time I was being treated. She was my fuzzy nurse every day of that year and when I was declared cancer free and rang my bell, she somehow knew her job was done and prepared to die. She was so special. When I lost my hair, she slept on the top of my pillow cuddled on the top of my head to keep me warm. When I would fall asleep on the couch watching TV, she would gently brush my cheek with a soft paw when she didn’t feel me move for a while. And, when I was afraid or not feeling very good and I cried, she would lick the tears off my cheeks. When she couldn’t eat anymore and the feeding tube was not what she wanted, we had to make the decision and our Vet again was very helpful. Fris had passed her 21st Birthday and was such a sweet cat that her Vet and her staff were all there to make her as comfortable as possible at the end. Just before they were ready, I had to use the restroom. Actually, I was going to cry my eyes out and did not want to be the one to start everyone going. When headed out the door, I could see Fris trying to get up to follow me and she was frantically looking as I turned to close the door. The articles you quoted were absolutely on the mark. No matter how hard it is to face, you are the person that animal has come to love and depend on. They were there for you in the good time – it is your turn at the end of their life to be there with them. I walked over to the table as did my husband and as soon as she saw us both,she relaxed and as I rubbed her belly and my husband scratched her cheeks she closed her eyes and purred and it was over very peacefully. Bottom line, we take all the love our pets can give for as long as they are with us so, they deserve to go with your love when their time comes.

  4. Elly Mayo Avatar
    Elly Mayo

    💔So very sorry for your loss.

  5. Dorothy Koczera Avatar
    Dorothy Koczera

    I just did this with my daughter with her cat.It was terrible ,but it was time .I thought the same thing ,why can’t we do this to humans that are really suffering and there is no hope .I really think it is about MONEY !!

    1. Dorothy Koczera Avatar
      Dorothy Koczera

      I just did this with my daughter with her cat.It was terrible ,but it was time .I thought the same thing ,why can’t we do this to humans that are really suffering and there is no hope .I really think it is about MONEY !!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *