Priscilla and I went out to dinner the other night with our good friends Steve and Sharon. We hadn’t done that in years.
We got married 38 years ago. Steve and Sharon were married 28 years ago, the dates were about a week apart. Sharon was in our wedding party and Priscilla was in theirs. We’ve been through a lot together. There have been babies born, some of our parents have died, houses have been purchased and some of the children have already gotten married. In between there were countless holiday dinners (with Uncle Steve’s chicken wings), Christmas gifts hidden at each other’s house, not to mention baptisms,(We’re the godparents for their children and they are for ours), and Sunday School classes taught together.
I hope you have had a Steve and Sharon in your life.
We haven’t always been this close or, in the past few years, spent as much time together as we once did. There have been job changes and, in my case, a health scare. I’m happy that they seem to be in pretty good health as I wouldn’t want to wish this on anyone. They were always right there though to visit me in the hospital or at home during one rehab or another.
Yes life got busy for all of us in different ways and we drifted apart a little. However, the other night while we dined at the Pasta House, our go-to restaurant for years, we were right back to the old days. (Restaurant review: It’s still good!)There was plenty to catch up on and we never lacked for something to discuss. We could have continued for hours but the wine bottle was dry and, I think, they needed the table.
For a month or two we would run into one or the other and we would say, “We have to get together sometime.” The old open-ended statement that is used far too often. I think it was Sharon who finally said, “Ok, next Saturday night? Pasta House?” That’s what I recommend. Don’t leave it open-ended. Set a firm date, time and don’t leave until something is set up.
For a long time I felt like I didn’t know why we seemed to drift apart from friends or relatives. I hated it and sometimes felt guilty. I think I’ve told you that when my brother died I got back in touch with an older cousin. When I said to her, “I don’t know what happened over the years and why I haven’t been in touch more,” she stopped me and said, “Life happens. You just get busy with your own life, family and commitments. It’s not necessarily wrong, it just is.” That has really meant a lot to me and brought me so much clarity.
Life happens to all of us, but, speaking from experience, it is so nice when you can catch up. Who do you have that you would like to reconnect with? Make that call. Set a date to get together. Enjoy each other’s company. There’s so much to share and just enjoy spending time together again.
Don’t waste any energy on who’s to blame or why you didn’t call. Life happened, but now you’ve refocused. You miss them. They’re important to you. If they say no, at least you tried and you’ve got the memories of the times you shared.
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