I was talking with a friend the other day who was complimenting his wife’s cooking. He said if he was cooking he would have called for pizza and maybe picked up a few chicken nuggets.
I used to be that way.
My wife discovered, to her disbelief, that my mom had done everything for we Braley boys while we grew up. That was nice of her in a way, but I came to our marriage not knowing how to cook. I also didn’t know how to do laundry or sew on a button. Yeah we made sure our boys would know how and the girls understand so-called “boys things” like how to change a tire and how to jump start a car.
I’ve told you before how my daughter Sarah tried to help me develop cooking as a hobby. She had me research a meal during the week either on Facebook, Pinterest or in a cookbook and then make the meal on a weekend. After my stroke, the family thought it would be good therapy for me to continue cooking. Thinking, reading, measuring, slicing and cooking are all good skills and some that I needed to relearn. I still need help lifting a heavy pan or the cast iron skillet as there is still some weakness on the right side, but otherwise I’m cooking most nights and my wife doesn’t seem to mind. To her credit, she does the clean up.
I believe that what it all comes down to is confidence. My friend thinks he can’t cook and therefore has no confidence. I’ll admit that when I started cooking I had my doubts but once I had a meal or two turn out okay, I started to like it.
Why not? You try something, do the work and it turns out pleasing people. My daughter Kat and her boyfriend Josh come over for dinner most Sunday night’s. I used to tell the kids about mid-week that it was “new recipe” night. After a while she started to ask me, “Josh wants to know if it’s ‘new recipe night’.” I started wondering, “Is that because he doesn’t like it?” She replied, “No. He gets excited. He likes being the test kitchen and it tastes good.” We usually go around the table and vote as to whether or not a recipe makes it into the rotation.
Can everyone cook? Probably not, especially if you have no interest or don’t enjoy the process. But if you’re interested, or curious, go for it! I think you just lack confidence like it is with anything else you just started to do. Maybe some things came to you naturally but I’m sure there were others where you tried, failed, but then kept at it until you had the confidence.
I’ve been writing a lot lately about how you have to find something you can do if you’ve had a life changing experience. If you have suddenly had a health challenge it is easy to sit in the house and say “I can’t do __ anymore.” Maybe so, but what CAN you do?
Maybe it’s not cooking but maybe you can write, draw, paint, be a photographer, a researcher of your family tree.
If you know someone who is searching for their new identity maybe you can help with suggestions. That’s really what it is. Once something happens and you have to make changes in life you can lose your identity. It’s a scary place to be.
Some can do it on their own but others need help. If you have someone in your life who has one door close on them, help them to find another door to open. Then, just help them build confidence.
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