I’ve been getting a first hand look at the struggles military families face when a loved one is deployed. I’ve known about it but I guess I never really appreciated it until I saw it affect my own children and grandchild.
Almost two years ago I was in Virginia Beach to help with my grandson. At the time, my daughter-in-law was deployed so I stayed with my son since he had an empty house. I tried to help out with some of the cooking and weekly chores but I could see how the separation was tough. They emailed every day and they were able to FaceTime occasionally but only if the ship was in port somewhere, something that didn’t happen much during Covid. I guess they can only FaceTime while in port because their phones only work on land. Every day email did make me think of how different things must have been when you could only send a letter and then wait for it to be received and then returned.
This time my son is deployed on the aircraft carrier Bush and his wife takes a turn now being the one left home. I wonder which one is easier? I would think it’s easier being at sea because at least it’s a different surrounding and, hopefully, you can keep yourself busy.
My son-in-law is also on the same ship and I have watched my daughter deal with the loneliness. She does a great job of keeping herself busy, and we help, but every now and then she’ll have a day. I used to be the type that always wanted to fix things but over the years I’ve tried to understand that sometimes people just need to vent and I need to listen.
What really gets to me is when my almost three-year-old grandson says, “I miss daddy.” We try to comfort him and explain that daddy is doing a very important job on the big boat but he really doesn’t understand.
Some people might say that they knew what they signed up for when they joined but then I think, the little guy didn’t ask for this. He just knows his daddy had to go away and he wants him back.
My daughter sends an email every day but that’s not something little Liam can do. He did send one the other day that said: “dftghgrfvfddggffrfgttrrrrssseee.” His dad said he got a Spam warning with that one. There are occasional phone calls but they don’t talk long. Sometimes it seems he ends up missing dad more after the phone call.
I know, we’re not the only family that has gone through this. The Navy has been around since 1775 and people have been going off to serve for that long if not longer. If you grew up with parents in the service or a loved one, you certainly have my respect.
I just wish I knew what to tell the little guy. We talk about how daddy is doing an important job but I don’t think he can understand. We have a map of the world so we can show him where daddy is but I think he just knows that daddy is not here.
I know it’s hard for my daughter being both mom and dad. My wife and I try to help with the little guy just so she can have a breather or go out with her sister for a day of pampering.
As for my grandson? Well let’s just say Grampy plays a little game called “Dr. Distraction.” When Liam says, “I miss my dad,” I say, “I know. Hey I haven’t had ice cream in awhile, let’s go for a ride!”
I’m truly enjoying having them with me for this deployment and my son-in-law was right when he suggested they move back in with us while he’s away. I think things have been a little better for them this time. At least they’re with us and we’re doing things.
God bless all that serve and those left at home waiting and crossing off the days on the calendar.
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