I mentioned something last week in my published column. I mentioned how my wife had painted the porch and how I couldn’t do that anymore. I said “That’s a column for another time.”
Well, I guess this is that time.
I’ve learned that one of the most difficult things about a stroke is actually living with the darned thing. There are so many things we want to do, things that we used to do that we can’t do anymore.
My wife Priscilla painted the porches the other day. I used to do that kind of thing. I used to go to the old hardware store and buy the stuff and do the work. Now I’m a damn cheerleader. Sorry, didn’t mean to diss cheerleaders.
I’ll be honest with you: I hate it. One thing I’ve had to learn is that things are different.
I don’t know if it’s stubborness or chivalry but I struggle because I feel this is not how it’s supposed to be! Yes I’m old fashioned but I believe there are things I’m supposed to do as the “breadwinner” or the “head of this household.” Plus, I used to enjoy doing them. Not anymore!
Stroke survivors struggle because the world, as they know it, disappears or at least changes. We don’t want it too but it does.
I don’t do the yard work anymore because my balance is off and I don’t have the most level of yards.
Carpentry is out because my right side isn’t as strong as it used to be. Never mind hitting my thumb I’d probably hit my head with the hammer.
When we visit the kids down south I don’t drive anymore because I’m not familiar with the roads. I used to drive everywhere like NYC or DC when we were lost and Priscilla was trying to read the map. Now it’s my turn with the map and yes, I still like to read a map.
It’s frustrating but I have to keep telling myself I’m blessed. There are many stroke stories that haven’t had the same result I’ve had. I could have come out of it not being able to speak or with a completely different personality.
I ran across another stroke survivor a few weeks ago who is doing well but complained about the fatigue. I can totally relate.
I found a blog recently that explained it in a very good way. The blog is at jumbledbrain.com. Michelle Munt suffered a brain injury and while it’s not about stroke necessarily, a lot of what she writes about is relatable.
She writes about how we always take the motorway to work. (She’s British.) The route is pretty direct and you are able to travel at the speed limit for your entire journey. It’s quick and efficient.
But one day an earthquake happens (stroke) and the motorway is destroyed. So you take an alternative route. All the other drivers have to go the same way so it’s congested and slow. It’s going to take longer than usual.
That’s the way it is with your thoughts and your brain. The regular route is gone and everything goes slower.
Why do we get tired or fatigued? Enter the “spoon” theory.
The “Spoon Theory” was an essay writter by Christine Miserandino in 2003.
Christine took 12 spoons to work as a visual aid. The spoons represent a unit of energy. Do an activity, take away a spoon. If you run out of spoons you have run out of energy: time for bed.
Miserandino does think you can exceed your daily limit but that means you have to borrow from tomorrow so you might not have enough spoons for the next day.
According to the Spoon theory, spoons may be replaced after rest or a good nights sleep. However, people with chronic diseases may have trouble sleeping.
As a stroke survivor, here’s how I see it: I only have so many spoons and it’s probably fewer than 12. If I have something to do like a baseball broadcast or a family event, I have to conserve my spoons throughout the day because when they’re gone….I need to go to bed.
I try. I try to focus on what I can do as opposed to what I can’t but it’s difficult at times.
As of this past Thursday I enter my 57th year and hope to focus more on new ways of getting things done.
The Braley Blog posts every day with a short message or two then a look at some stories in the news. We look back at this day in history and share a thought for the day.
Today’s thought:
“Stop giving someone else the job to make you happy.”
Leave a Reply