The holidays: A joyous time for many but a difficult time for some.
Are you feeling down? There is something you can do.
This came to mind this week when I was having a difficult day.
Yes, your little ray of sunshine was not having a “Sunshine Day!”
First, I let somebody get under my skin with something they said. In hindsight I realize that was my fault. I LET it upset me instead of just blowing it off. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
It was also a painful day. Physically. I’m sure I’m not the only chronic pain sufferer who lets it get to him occasionally. You get tired of things hurting and then you spiral. “It hurts today, it’ll hurt tomorrow” and so on and so on…
I was thinking about that as I walked from my car to a church meeting. I really didn’t feel like going but, since I’m on the committee, I went.
Spending time with other people and working together with them to try to make our little part of the world just a little bit better… changed my outlook.
Feeling down? There is something you can do. Get involved.
I interviewed someone in health care recently and asked what we could do to benefit ourselves as we got older. My guest recommended exercise, proper diet and socializing with others. Get involved. Do something.
Now if you’ve recently suffered a loss I understand it may be too soon. You need time to grieve. However, if it’s been awhile or if you know someone who could really use a mood boost maybe you could suggest it.
For me my church community always helps to lift my spirits. That’s how I was raised. Mom got us up on Sunday mornings and we put on our “church clothes.” I still have a hard time wearing jeans to church. I usually pair them with a blazer so maybe mom will look down and be a little more accepting.
Church attendance has been on the decline across America, as Jake Meador recently wrote in a piece for The Atlantic. In it he wrote, “Participation in a religious community correlates with better health outcomes and longer life, higher financial generosity and more stable families— All of which are desperately needed in a nation with rising rates of loneliness, mental illness, and alcohol and drug dependency.”
If church is not for you then look for other people doing the things you love. The senior centers, book clubs or, if you’re more coordinated than I am, pickle ball!
The point I’m trying to make is that we need to be with other people. Not people that stress you out and make you question humanity (there’s plenty of those), but people who share your same interests or people that challenge you to learn and grow.
I met a 90-year old man once who took on a new challenge every year. He took piano lessons in his 80s. Why? Because he always wanted to and when the children were grown and he was retired he had the time.
There was an article I saw recently that talked about how older people feel like they’re becoming invisible as they age.
Christine Vanlandingham (yes that’s how you spell it) wrote a piece recently for the Region IV Area Agency for Aging. In it she writes about a woman she had long admired who said, “I feel invisible. People don’t see me now.”
Christine continued saying “Across the country, many older adults are grappling with a creeping sense of invisibility— not just socially, but culturally and emotionally.
Part of it is a society that prizes youth, productivity, and speed. Plus the media portrays older adults as frail or out of touch.
In everyday interactions, older adults often find themselves talked over, dismissed or simply ignored.”
What can be done about this? Christine writes, “Building connections is vital. Studies show social engagement reduces loneliness. Technology can also connect individuals.”
I think much of this is true no matter how old you are. We weren’t built to be alone. Yes there are exceptions. If you fancy yourself as the type that could live “off the grid” in a cabin out in the wilderness, go for it!
For the rest of us, find a place where you or a loved one would feel happy and welcomed.
You may hear, “Well if it’s meant to be something will happen for me.” To that I would add a line that I heard many years ago that I still carry with me.
“God helps those who help themselves.”
It’s not in the Bible but comes from Ancient Greece. Benjamin Franklin used it in “Poor Richard’s Almanack.”
My wife met a colleague recently that she hadn’t seen in awhile. As they talked he asked what I was up to lately. When she listed all the part time jobs I had he said, “Well it keeps him busy I guess.” It also keeps me connected and gets me out of the house and out of my head when I need it.
So again I ask, “Feeling down?” Do something about it. Only you can.
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