I was out walking the dog a couple of weeks ago when a neighbor stopped me to say, “Hi!” I hadn’t seen her in awhile even though we live across the street from one another. She asked me how I was doing and I was having a good day so I told her I was doing fine.
I usually tell people I have good days and bad with my health and I like to celebrate the good days.
Her husband had a stroke within the past year or two so I asked how he was doing. She told me how he had pretty much given up and didn’t do much. He didn’t want any physical therapy and I guess he just does whatever he can do to get through his days.
As I’ve written before, no two strokes are alike and I don’t know what his recovery has been like. He is a bit older than me but I could tell that his wife was upset about it. We forget sometimes how our family deals with the aftermath of a stroke or other health crisis. I told her about the book I had written a few years ago.
It’s called “I’m Not Done Yet” and it’s about my adventures post-stroke. I told her I would get her a copy and that she should just leave it on the coffee table. That’s all. Don’t ask him to read it or try to convince him to pick it up, just leave it where he might see it. If it’s meant to be, he’ll read it.
That’s the thing: No matter what the health issue, you can’t force anyone into physical therapy or changing their attitude towards things. They have to want to do it or it won’t work.
And that brings me to the title of this week’s column.
You know, you do have a choice! The question is…what will you choose?
Regardless of what has happened to you in life, whether it be your health, your marriage, your job… you always have a choice. You may not be able to choose what you really want but you do have a choice.
Obviously if I could have my health the way it was before my stroke I would choose that. In a split second I would choose that! However, that’s not one of my options.
Did you ever stop and think about all the choices you have in your day? It starts when the alarm goes off. You don’t HAVE to get up, you choose to. True, you might get fired if you don’t get up but it is a choice. You then choose whether or not to have breakfast, what to wear, which way to go to work, and so on and so on. You also choose the mood you’re in and what kind of day you’ll have. I know, you may say, “What about what happens to me during the day?” Well… you choose how you’re going to react to that.
Every day we have choices, even those of us with a health issue. You can choose to stay in bed and dwell all day on what you can’t do anymore OR you can get up and see what you CAN do.
This past week I had the chance to broadcast the Fairhaven/Hudson High School Super Bowl game from Gillette Stadium. I’ll be honest with you: it was pretty awesome!
True it would have been better if Fairhaven had won the game but I will never forget that experience. And…there were a couple of times I almost chose not to go.
I’ve had the pleasure of working with Ed Pereira this year on WNBH/Big 101.3 doing some high school games. Ed is fantastic and always looks out for me. If the stadium has no railing in the bleachers or the press box is inaccessible, I don’t go and Ed is usually the one that makes that suggestion. For instance, there were two games at Fairhaven High School this season and I don’t go there. There is a ladder to get up into that press box and my days of climbing ladders are way behind me.
Leading up to the Gillette game I was a little concerned with the later start time (8:00 p.m), with an afternoon nap, I was able to do it. That’s a post-stroke reality for me: Anything added to my day has to be planned for. My morning radio partner Scott Reiniche nicely let me sleep in the next day so that was a help.
Ed was also concerned that it would be too much of a walk from the parking lot to the entrance but he was able to drop me off up close and go park the car. Afterwards, two of the people that went with us went and got the car and came back to pick us up.
I could have chosen to stay home Wednesday night but I chose to do the game and I’ll have that memory of working in a pro stadium for the rest of my life. Yes, I was exhausted the next day, but it was worth it.
You do have a choice.
Christmas is just 17 days away and I know that while it’s “the most wonderful time of the year” for some, it’s not a wonderful time for others. Many people are dealing with loss and hard times. Again let me remind you that you do have a choice. You can choose to be sad and alone or you can choose to accept that invitation from a friend or family member. I know, you may not feel ready to try something new yet and that’s okay. Maybe just ease into some new experience.
You’re not alone in wishing things could be as they were. In reality, that may not be possible anymore. But… what is possible? What could you do with what’s available to you?
Trust me. It’s worth a look.
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