My wife and I will be celebrating our 43rd anniversary in September so it never fails… People ask us what the secret is to a long lasting marriage. To be honest: I don’t know. I married my best friend and we just try to be honest with each other and deal with everything as it comes along.
Priscilla mentioned something recently that I think is very important:
We don’t forget to say “please” and “thank you.”
Yes. The little things.
And it’s not just with your spouse but the whole family.
I was reminded of that this week when we had a few Amazon packages delivered. One of them was pretty big and even though I probably could have managed it, I realized my son Matt was home so maybe he could help me out.
He was upstairs working on some music so I decided to text him. My original thought was I would text and say, “Hey there are some Amazon packages on the back porch. Could you get them for me?” I stopped myself and changed that to, “There are some packages on the back porch. Could you please help me when you can? No hurry.” Same request. Different approach.
I think sometimes we take family or spouses for granted. While you might be polite with people outside your home or family, why do we not use the same courtesies with those we love? Is it because we’re around each other so much? Do we think we don’t have to be polite after being together so long?
“They know I appreciate them. What’s the big deal?” Well I think it is a big deal.
I don’t know about you but I appreciate a “please” or “thank you.” And what’s wrong with:
“Thanks for making dinner.”
“Could you pick up some milk please?”
“Thanks for starting the laundry for me.”
“Could you please pick up the dry cleaning on your way home?
How much more of an effort does it take to include a “please” or “thank you” in your speech or text?
I get it. We’re all busy and life can get crazy.
“We’ve been married forever. Why do I have to say ‘please’?” How about because it’s the nice thing to do? It might make the other person feel appreciated. It might be the first nice thing he/she has heard all day. You may be the first person today who said “please.” They may have gone above and beyond for a customer or client and no one took the time to simply say “Thank you.”
Sometimes it’s the little things in life that get forgotten. For some, our ways of communicating have changed so much. Instead of visiting in person we started calling or FaceTiming during Covid. Some people don’t even like phone calls anymore. “Just text me.” And we abbreviate so much when we text.
Lol. JK. Brb. Nvm.
How about we throw in a “pls” or “thx?”
So I’m sorry I don’t have any deep philosophical answer to the secret to a long lasting relationship. I would suggest that you remember the small stuff. Those little courtesies you extended to each other when you first started dating are still important no matter how many years it’s been. Maybe if you don’t sweat the small stuff it will leave you free to handle the big stuff that comes along.
As always, I THANK YOU for reading and PLEASE have a great week.
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