I went to a memorial service yesterday for a lady in our church who passed away recently. As I sat there listening to the minister share “Words of Remembrance and Hope” I found myself wondering what might be said about me whenever that day comes. I thought it might be something for us all to consider this weekend.
Whenever that day comes (not too soon I hope), what do you think people will say about you? They will probably try to sum you up in 10 or 15 minutes so what do you think will come to mind?
“He had 735 Facebook friends!”
“She never missed an episode of ‘Wheel of Fortune!”
“He yelled at the umpire whenever he made it to a grandchild’s game! I guess he knew more than they did.”
No I don’t think those will make the final draft.
What would you like people to say about you?
There are a number of articles and books that actually say you should write your own eulogy right now. Hold on now the idea is not really that morbid. The thinking is, if you write what you want people to remember about you it can then be a guide for how you should live the rest of your life. If you want people to remember you as a warm, caring person you might want to watch the road rage next time you’re in traffic. If you want them to remember you as a great family man you might want to start spending some time with them.
Yesterday we did hear mention of how this lady was a teacher and loved her students but the majority of the remembrance was about the little things she did that really made her…her. We spend so many years of our life working and worrying about our careers and climbing the ladder of success but in the end people remember you for so many different reasons. Will they remember the number of times you were Employee of the Month or the fact that you always brought donuts on Friday? Will they remember when you were the top biller at your company or the night you canceled your plans to sit with them when they were scared or dealing with sickness?
I remember speaking at my brother’s memorial service a few years ago. At first, I didn’t know what to say. How can you sum up some sixty years of life in ten minutes? While trying to find my way I was reminded of “The Dash Poem” by Linda Ellis.
In part it says,
I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on the tombstone
From the beginning…to the end
He noted that first came the date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years
For that dash represents all the time
That they spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved them
Know what that little line is worth
For it matters not, how much we own,
The cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.
Maybe spend a little time this week thinking about your dash or eulogy. What would you like it to include? And if you’re not pleased with what you find there…. get busy while you have time to rewrite it.
This brings to mind a favorite C.S. Lewis quote:
“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.”
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