It’s OK To Say ”No”

One of the jobs I have everyday with the “Pete Braley Show” is to come up with “stuff.” It’s a part of my job I have always enjoyed even when I was doing the radio show. Someone once asked my wife, Priscilla, “How does he come up with all this material?” Answer: I was blessed with an insatiable curiosity. I’m always reading, always learning.

A popular segment on our new show is the “Thought For The Day.” I find many of these on Pinterest. One that caught my mind today was:

Learn to say “No” without explaining yourself.

That’s been a hard lesson to learn.

When I was younger, I had a real struggle with this.

“Will you be on this church committee?” Sure!

“Can you coach (insert child’s name here)?” It would be my pleasure!

“Can you host our fundraiser?” Why not?

I would think, “I can’t say no. They might never ask again.”

Why did I never say no? As I look back at it now I realize that I should have, but at the time I guess I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. It took me awhile to see that I was trying to do too much. I wasn’t being fair to myself or my family.

Priscilla and I used to be very involved in our church. I was the Sunday School superintendent once, we led the confirmation class, sang in the choir and did any number of other things. We finally got to the point where we realized, “It’s someone else’s turn.” And guess what? The church didn’t collapse when we stepped back. Someone else DID step up. It’s their turn now.

I was reminded of this the other day when I had a scheduling conflict at New Bedford Cable. I’ve been doing a series of interviews this year with the candidates running for office in New Bedford. It’s called “A Sit Down With Pete.” I also cover some sports for cable. Last Friday I was scheduled to do commentary for the New Bedford High football game at Walsh Field at 7 p.m. There was a candidate who wanted to do an interview that same day at 5:30 p.m. The “old” me probably would have said, “I can do both! I’ll do the interview at 5:30 p.m. then rush to the stadium for the 7:00 p.m. kickoff. No problem!”

Thankfully, the older and (somewhat) wiser Pete, said, “Uh, that’s too much. No. You’re not going to do that.” I said no to the interview and just did the game. And the politician was fine with rescheduling for Monday.

Why don’t we say “no?” Is it because we don’t want to disappoint? They’ve made room in their schedule so maybe you should just change yours? It’s just easier to upset your schedule than to bother everyone else? You think you’re the only one that can do it?

I think you need to ask yourself a few questions.

“Do I WANT to do this?”
“Do I have the time to do this without sacrificing time for myself and family?”

It took me a few years, well actually a few decades, to realize it’s ok to say “no” at times. Do what YOU need to do. Everything usually works out.

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